Livin' On The Edge.

Happy 140th entry, blog! Since 140 is a special anniversary, I decided to stall this momentous occasion as long as possible. Personally, my favorite entries were my 43rd and my 102nd. But whose keeping count!

So, here's the issue that's currently plaguing my life. I don't know if I can get through the whole day without punching a wall over it, so I figure that e-venting may help (and, it's better than wall fixing and wrist breaking.)


Brownies.

One may ask why this baked good may be on my mind at 2:16 PM. Well friends, it was brought up after watching this (very hilarious) video.


Informercials, in general, make life seem so difficult! Yet, as a victim of everyday clumsiness, I can relate to those kids spilling juice everywhere, and that man with the wires that just can't untangle! In fact, just this morning, I had a very humbling experience when my pizza fell off the rack and wedged itself in the corner, finding shelter in the drawer underneath - cheeseless and mortified.

Of course, in true e-fashion, I sent a copy of the link to everyone on gchat. And let them know it'd be funny, by signifying "LOL". And then, during the "oops, my brownies are a disaster!" segment, my dearest pal Gina mentioned.. this.

gina: i know!

the mountain out of a mole hill situation

and btw

the perfect brownie maker?

the brownies with sides are the worst ones.

why would i want all of them to have sides?

Sent at 1:58 PM on Thursday

me: Seriously?

I LOVE brownie sides

Sent at 2:01 PM on Thursday

me: I also love the end pieces of bread.

gina: NOT ME!

OMG KAREN

our first real disagreement!

me: This is truly upsetting.

We may need to see couple's counseling.

Sent at 2:03 PM on Thursday

gina: seriously.

or, when we make brownies

you can just have the outside ones and i'll have the inside ones

me: MAYBE.

Maybe I don't feel comfortable with this arrangement!

gina: O RLY

me: As I eat my sides, I'll feel like you're silently judging me.

gina: why wouldn't you be comfortable?! we sound like perfect puzzle pieces to me!

me: (Karen eats brownie side)

Karen: I love my sides!

(Gina glares, onward)

Gina: Who does she think she is.

This may take some time. Maybe we can start out small. Like. We'll make cupcakes. And move on to banana bread. And then brownies.

gina: ok.

that works for me.

if baby steps are what you're comfortable with!

I kind of thought everyone loved brownie sides. They make me happy the same way bread ends do. Now it looks like I'm alone in this world. (That's where you come in. Prove me wrong, world! Pro-edge over no-edge!)

Gina and I later discussed what other baked goods we may disagree on. We both agree that cupcake tops (and muffin tops) are far superior.

However, I am weird with food. Thinking about such little friendship-ruining aspects like brownie sides made me delve deeper into my food philosophy. Like, for one, I'm a vegetarian. I know, right? Who the hell do I think I am!? Second, I do not like ice cream sandwiches. Yes, you read that right. I do not like ice cream sandwiches. They're messy and melty, and sometimes you get chocolate caked on your fingers, and I think I'm going to throw up now, since I've thought about it for too long.

Know what else sucks? Apple Pie. Yes, I'm an American. But I prefer my pie when it's not in fall-apart mode. Examples: Pumpkin, and Pecan.

Another admittance. One of my favorite foods growing up was sour cream and bread. You toast the bread, put sour cream in a bowl, add some salt and pepper (mainly pepper), take the toasted bread from the toaster, and rip it into small pieces in sour cream bowl. Then you mix, and eat with a fork. I didn't invent this, I swear. My Mom said it was one of her Dad's favorite recipes. Blame him!

(Okay, this self rant just took a break, since my cat just jumped in my lap. So cute!) (ANYWAY.)

Know what my favorite drink is, besides coffee? Water. Plain, ice cold tap water. The Brita pitcher was perhaps the best purchase I ever made, even though I never change the filter, and I'm too lazy to buy new filters anyway.

(I bet you're shocked that I didn't say Kool Aid, but I've taken a brief break from it. Splenda is super expensive in bulk. And I was on about a pitcher a day.)

So, there you have it. All of my food confessions are out there for everyone to see and judge. While typing this, Gina and I further debated muffins, and I mentioned that Dunkin Donuts were a bit too cakey for my liking. She has yet to respond. In fact, to prove this, here's proof that our friendship is broken.

gina: why?

they're delicious

Sent at 2:26 PM on Thursday

me: They are a little too cakey for me

Sent at 2:32 PM on Thursday

It is currently 2:39.

In other news, I totally got an online order for Charlotte Russe in the other day, but noticed that it was missing two items. A bra, and a set of rings. So I called in yesterday, to set the record straight. I ask myself this. Why do I still get embarrassed when describing a missing bra to a stranger on the phone? What am I, 12?

And then I'm informed of this:

"Sorry ma'am, the bra is out of stock"

Oh noez! What'z my chest gonna do? Thatz what bras do, right? Now I'll never be ablez to change in the gym locker room!!!

Of course the rings were available. Thank heavens! And I was credited money for my bra. Yep, that's right. My credit card statement will now have a +$6.70 on it in 5 to 7 business days, due to the fact that my bra didn't make its way into my arms, safe and sound.

I actually contemplated not even telling them about it, since as a 26-year-old, ten dollars was not worth the time and utter embarrassment that it took to mention the three-letter word to the female stranger on the other line that has to deal with similar inquiries on a daily basis. I'm just so happy that the "panties" I received all got here safely, since otherwise, that 5 minute convenient and non-threatening phone conversation I personally chose to have would have been about 5% more horrible. Oh, and even worse - this kind female stranger who was accurately doing her job now knows my bra size. What if she tells everyone!

On the plus side, the tank top I ordered - which did arrive - is awesome. Fun fact: I'm wearing it right now!

With that being said, I'm going to relax, have a nice cold cup of tap water, and rewatch that infomercial compilation. And hope that no other super great friendships get questioned in the process.