Survivor, Episode 2: Attack of the Clones

(Yeah, I can't make that graphic smaller. If only.)

Alright. Survivor happened once again, and once again I watched it and "took minutes". (I realized that technically, "recap" isn't the correct phrase. It's more like "sentences about the show and stuff that happens at my apartment while the show is going on.)

I'm so happy they quit the "What If?" spots they ran in the midst of commercials last week. I'm also so happy to see that Phillip has a pair of red swim trunks, which he should be wearing at all times.

Not happy about how Boston Rob namedropped Amber a ton of times. I'd like to think that some people watching have no clue who she is.

8:06 - Are they already plotting for final 6?

8:10 - Ometepe. Phillip goes hunting for crabs in his pink briefs. The rest of the cast makes fun of him.

8:11 - Phillip starts to cry, thinking about America. America is embarrassed.

8:11 - Special Agent Count: 2. Although I did miss the intro. I predict at this point, "Special Agent" will be said about 5 more times.

8:13 - Uhh, Russell? Don't call Ralph dumb. And don't inappropriately touch Stephanie.

8:15 - I left for a minute, and asked Greg what happened, for recap-sake. Not being a fan, his response was "I don't know. I think one of them found one of the things."

8:20 - Someone talks about God putting him in an Alliance. Yeah. I'm sure that's on his list.

8:26 The brunette girl just said she wants to make big moves with Boston Rob, but we all know that means "ride his coattails till the end"

8:27 "I WILL OUTLAST ANY MAN!!! OVER THERE" - Phillip

8:27 Remember when Survivor challenges used to be awesome? And not like, "We'll have a ring toss! Whoever puts a ball in a fishbowl wins fishing supplies!" Man, Probst. Your creative team is getting weak.

8:28 Serena tries to pick up some ground on the swim challenge, as well as pick up some coverage from her bikini bottoms.

8:29 Ralph and Phillip try to break tiles. I'm on Team Ralph here, you guys. He's broken 3 tiles!

8:29 Ralph breaks all the tiles! Zapatera wins, again! And again, Boston Rob looks like he's going to cry!

8:29 Probst goes over the Redemption Island crap again.

8:32 Russell steals a clue! And nobody notices!

8:32 I swear, Kristen Wiig is on Russell's team.

8:35 Ralph asks Russell point blank if he has a clue, and Russell being a jerk about it should have given him the answer. Which is "Yes."

8:36 Ooh, Redemption Island. Francesca! She has her luxury item, which is a journal. (Greg's Response:"... Really?")

8:37 Phillip makes a speech before Tribal Council. Nobody responds. Eventually Boston Rob feels bad about everyone's silence, and congratulates him on... talking.

8:39 Kristina says she's giving up the Idol for reals tonight. Even though I don't even think people remember she has it, despite last week's CrazyJury.

8:45 Fake Fabio (Matt) will be voted for, and nobody has a clue! Boston Rob, you're so schemey...

8:46 Boston Rob treats Phillip like a 12-year-old. "I'll put my RIGHT hand on who I'm voting for, during the council."

8:47 I have to say, the Tribal Immunity necklace is badass. I hope Charlotte Russe makes a cheap, $5 copy of it that I can break in the span of a week!

8:48 Phillip flashes his tats. A gorilla and a lion. He says he's like a gorilla and lion towards his family and the United States.

8:48 No offense Boston Rob, but you have no arm muscle definition. You kind of look like Gumby.

8:49 Phillip looks forward to Redemption Island, so he can beat up Franches-quaa.

8:50 It's time to vote.

8:51 I had to ask Greg who Boston Rob put his arm on, since I totally didn't even pay attention. Meanwhile, Kristina interrupts Jeff and hands over her idol. She knows the drill.

8:52 Matt leaves. Everyone is shocked! Blindsided!

Huh. Looks like I was dead wrong with that Secret Agent count. Unless namedropping "America" and "The United States" subtly blends in with aforementioned count.

My Overall Thoughts: Eh, kind of dull. Thank god Phillip explained the meaning of his tattoos, since otherwise I wouldn't be able to get to sleep tonight. "What does that lion stand for?" I'd wonder. Thank you Phillip, for putting all of the pieces together.

My Friend Jenn's Thought (via gchat) (about Boston Rob):

Jennifer: yeah he's so weird

i feel like he really thinks he's at the top of his game but like, is all over the place

My Dad's Thought: "So what is the deal with Redemption Island? Are they going to like, show them fight in the beginning of next episode? I have a feeling nobody knows what direction that's going in."

(Keep in mind, both my Dad and I fail to watch the "Scenes from Our Next Episode", as my Dad usually falls asleep at 9, and we both forget about them by next week anyway. So if this is revealed, let me know.)

And, since I've already posted about something I like that not too many other people like, let me go ahead and post this picture of David Cook.

And now, let me take the chance to fawn all over him. David Cook, I love you. Please tour again soon. And please release your CD already. I NEED IT. SERIOUSLY, I NEED IT. AND IF YOU GO ON TOUR, CAN I COME TOO?

Okay. Until next week!