A Tale of One Dan

There's been so much I've wanted to write about, but there's been no time! There's never any time!

I've wanted to do a post of the "5 Cartoons You Should Be Watching" for about three weeks now. So I'll go ahead and do that later on. Keep in

mind that 75% of what I watch is in cartoon form, as it was when I was 7 and didn't like any entertainment that had people in it. I remember being insanely disappointed when I learned that National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation wasn't a cartoon like the beginning implied. I honestly remember walking out of the room, all frowny and displeased.

First, I want to talk about yesterday without getting that Rebecca Black song in my head. On Friday, after a somewhat tough week, I manage to make it home post work-and-errands around 6. Pandas were playing a show in Altoona, so I looked forward to a night where I could

unapologetically watch all of the worst shows on Instant Netflix, and maybe paint my nails without killing Greg with polish-smell. You know. Girl's night in.

After chatting with my Dad, I remembered that I forgot to go to the bank to deposit a check. So while I"m ready to head out the door, I hear.. noise.

Now, here's a brief backstory. Around the time I moved into this apartment, so did Dan, our next-door neighbor. Dan worked from home, was relatively quiet, and had 11 children - who only came over every other weekend or so. Even when they were noisy, it was a livable noise. He was a decent, if not a bit frazzled dude.

About 3 weeks ago, Greg told me that he's under the impression that Dan had moved out. He saw Dan moving a bunch of stuff to his car, thought he saw a cleaning service come in, and - well - the apartment was lightless and empty for some time. I felt pretty sad about it. Dan signed for all my stupid Charlotte Russe packages, and to the best of my knowledge, never got pissed off that I always had crap sent at home rather than work, where I could readily sign for it.

If you've been reading this blog for awhile, you'll know I truly mean it when I say Dan was lightyears better than my last two neighbors over at Lime St. who lived upstairs - the "we hate you for having one party" jerks, and the "WOOO! SPORTS!" guys. I appreciate a good neighbor, especially since back in NJ, my neighborhood is like a delightful sitcom.

Anyway! So I'm on my way to the bank, and who do I see? DAN!

I think.

Hauling garbage in my hands, I awkwardly blurt out a "HeeEEEyyy!!" And then I was like,

"Wait. Is that Dan, or a new neighbor?" Maybe-Dan looked puzzled by my enthusiasm, but says hi back. No introduction, or anything.

Then I attempt to go to the bank, and fail, since the ATM was broken and driving to the second Wachovia (soon to be Wells Fargo, as 9000 notifications and the internet have harassed me about) was in the midst of the First Friday-induced city (ie: no parking spaces, people walk in front of your car in motion) and coming home, I see Maybe-Dan from a distance. "Okay, it's not him" I tell myself. But then I get closer, and assume it's him again. Then I seek security indoors, and fire up Sims 3.

(Yes. I started playing it again, and many days have been ruined because of it. Shut up! IT'S MY LIFE!)

I think to myself - I must be the worst neighbor ever. My neighbor is gone for three weeks, and I FORGET WHAT HIS FACE LOOKS LIKE. Even worse, a whole day has passed, and I still have no clue whether or not it was him. I tried to peek at his door from my curtain, but as our apartments share a similar "lobby" area, it'd have been completely obvious. And if it was a new

guy, his first impression would be that I'm a psycho.

Greg and I have been swapping possible stories all day. Despite him not seeing Maybe-Dan, he swears that Dan is long gone. My working theory is that he reconciled with his wife after a three-week period, and is moving back in with her. I spotted a woman in the apartment, which helped me believe that it wasn't Dan (sorry, Dan) but this aforementioned theory would back up my belief even more. I must also add to the story that I got a Comcast notification on our shared door, which mentioned that he cut off service.

I now realize this lengthy story I just shared is only truly interesting to me. But! I'll keep you all posted on DanGate 2011.

In other news, I dyed my hair and bought a hoodie. Here's emo evidence of both:

I never thought I'd find another hoodie like MY hoodie that I over-wore for years, and still have - despite one of the arms having literally 12+ holes in it. This may be a contender.

And to end? My 5 Cartoons You Must Be Watching (in order. #1 being the best.) (This is probably where video embedding will screw up this whole layout. Yeah. I know.)

#5 Archer

Okay, I fully admit that I haven't watched a lot of Archer. It's one of those shows that's on your TiVo, and when you watch it you enjoy it, but you're never like "I CAN'T MISS ARCHER TONIGHT, YOU GUYS. I'M GOING HOME"

It premiered in 2010, and it's in its second season now. Very funny writing, and a very awesome vocal cast: H. Jon Benjamin, Aisha Tyler, Jessica Walter (woo, Arrested Development!) and Chris Parnell (woo, SNL!)

#4 Adventure Time

Adventure Time is on Cartoon Network, and follows Jake the dog and Finn the human, both heroes. Unfortunately, Cartoon Network blocks video embedding, so click on the link to see the short regarding the Pie Throwing Robot episode.

Jake is voiced by John DiMaggio, who also does the voice of Bender on Futurama, which definitely adds to the appeal. Jake also has a Korean Unicorn girlfriend. Enough said. Awesome.

#3 American Dad

Okay, so I hate Seth McFarlane for the most part. Family Guy has its moments, but (don't hate me for this), it's usually a ten minute plot stretched to 30 with stupid flashbacks and long jokes.

Cleveland Show? Eh. I watch it, but it's not very inspired.

But American Dad? Love it. I actually sought out episodes on Instant Netflix, instead of just watching stale episodes that were taped on Tivo, "just since it's something to have on" (cough cough. Simpsons. cough cough.)

They won me over with Reginald the Koala who appears not-so-often but has an insanely catchy intro.

#2 Bob's Burgers

I seriously didn't imagine this show could be much, but oh my gosh. It saves the Sunday night Animation Domination on FOX (cough cough. Simpsons. cough cough.)

One key thing to note is that Bob is actually a lovable Dad. Bob actually likes his family. Very rare for animation, in my opinion.

Also, Tina wins as my favorite character. Her zombie love fantasies, and awkward teenage lines make me crack up.

AND FINALLY!

#1 Regular Show

I watched this show by accident, since TiVo picked it up in its "Suggestions". Best suggestion ever, machine!

Now, to make this #1 on my list right now is a gamble, as I honestly just started watching it about a month or so ago. But in that time I've caught 10-ish episodes, and each one goes from normal to lovably strange. But being that the central characters are a bluebird and a raccoon, I guess that's to be expected.

The embedded coffee link was actually to the first episode I watched. I kind of wish I could find a link to the somewhat-recent episode, where Rigby gets a terrible song stuck in his head, and the song becomes a physical being, in the shape of a dancing cassette tape. So awesome.

And, oh my god it's 12. I should probably post this and go to bed, as I'm 27 now, and 12 feels like the equivalent of 20-year-old 3 AM.